The Bump

No one else can tell yet, and frankly, it's hard to see anything in the mirror, but I'm actually starting to get a bump. I can feel it just beneath the skin. Instead of the soft pudge I used to get when I gained a little weight or the bloat I've been feeling for weeks, this feels different. It's tauter, more solid.

It's so weird to feel my body changing like this. I'm finally starting to keep down food on a regular basis and actually getting hungry (Ok, I'm starving all the time!). I'm also starting to get a little more energy than I had in my first few weeks. At first these positive changes actually worried me. With the negative symptoms, I had something I could hold on to: there's clearly a baby in there making me feel so awful and refusing to let me even smell bourbon.

Now that I have days where I feel good, I start thinking that something awful has happened and I'm not pregnant anymore. I know that's strange, but this whole thing is still so new. I'm adjusting to what my new normal is, and any change has me thinking the worst.

Then, a few days ago, I had a little stomach ache and put my hand over my belly as if to comfort it. That's when I noticed. It felt different. It didn't feel like my stomach. The shape had changed slightly, the density of it was different. I tried sucking in, but even though I could still make my stomach look fairly uniform, I could still feel that tiny bump.

I'm not going to lie, I teared up a bit at that. Every day there's just another reminder. This is really happening. My life is changed. I'm going to be a mom. I just hope I'm a good one.